Free To Be EMME

How do you find yourself and reinvent your life at 53? Come along with me and find out!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Plenty to Say

Some days I do not write on here because I have nothing to say.

Some days I do not write because I have something to say and don't have the words to express it.

Some days I do not write because I have so much going on that I do not which topic to write about.

Today I write because I have something to say. Problem is, I do not know how to really express it.

I am angry!!!!! I am hurt!!!! I am confused!!!! and I can find the hilarity in it all. I am feeling all these emotions, all at once. All of these emotions are because on one event.

To anyone who reads this, if you were or are hurt because of a previous posting and the backlash of hatred that has spewed forth from hurtful, malicious, misinformed, vengeful, mean spirited, vindictive, minions of the dark one, I am so sorry!

I wrote a blog because of an event that happened to me. I wrote because of a couple statements made to me that sent up red flags coupled with things that were said in front of another person who told me of the conversation. I was hurt, suspicious, depressed over it. I blogged to get it out of my system so I could be done with it. I felt I had accomplished that. Once I had gotten it out of my system and written down I was ok, it was over and done with. It was never written to be shared, or to hurt anyone.

I have since learned that I have had a stalker on my blog for quite some time. It is a person who would like nothing better than to hurt me in anyway possible. This person's co-whore, excuse me, cohort saw the blog and sent it to the individual I had written about. It was done as a deliberate, malicious vindictive attack on me. They deliberately hurt another person to get back at me. They knew hell would break loose. They were just too blinded by hatred to see how huge the gaping hole of hell, that they opened, would be.

That was not good enough for them. When isp addresses were blocked from my site to keep them away, they then turned on my close friend, someone I love and think of as family and wrote hateful, horrible things on her blog for all the world to see. It was uncalled for. The things they said were so low and so vile that even a snake's belly in a deep road rut is elevated more than they are.

This has literally been sent all around the country, not by me, but by them. The more access to me was blocked, the more intent they became. It is so pathetic that it is almost funny, almost. I am stunned at all that has transpired. I cannot fully grasp how I am feeling. The person I wrote about has changed all of their phone numbers. I have been banned from their life. If we were Jewish, I would be dead to them.

Siblings are taking sides. Two of them, who have sided with me, and think this is all soooooo stupid and uncalled for have been cut off from someone who should love them unconditionally, but apparently does not know how. There are feelings of hurt and anger that may NEVER be resolved. For someone who says that their family is so important, this is just another one of your actions to prove that it is not, nor has it been. This person is big on condemning others, by saying that their actions are not "Christ-like". I ask you is stalking, intentionally hurting someone, just to try to destroy another person, putting demeaning hate statements on someone else's blog to again try to hurt and destroy, Christ-like?

This too shall pass, but we will never be the same. It has pulled many of us closer and shut some out further.

You think you have hurt me? cannot hurt me anymore. You threw punches at me for years and I have survived, stronger and better than before. I no longer cower at your words or your actions. Just know that actions always bring consequences. Choices you can choose, consequences you cannot. I hope you can handle what you have brought upon your heads.